The Joke that is Modesty!

I have written, deleted and re-written this post over 5 times now, yet I am unable to properly express myself. This almost never happens to me, but the recent events have left me dumbfounded and speechless, scrambling for the words that have inexplicably escaped me. So, I am writing this post as a distraught mother about the epidemic of the worst kind that has hit our nation. I am still trying to comprehend, trying to grasp at the straws for sanity, trying to find a reasonable explanation for what is going wrong with our society. Almost 6 years ago I wrote a post on facebook, in a state of utter devastation when Nirbhaya’s “modesty was outraged”. And now the state of devastation has been replaced with a sense of trauma and a certain numbness that follows in such cases. Because apparently sexual assault of grown women is not fashionable anymore, “outraging modesty” of little children – the younger the better, is more in. (How can a child’s “modesty” be “outraged”? I am sorry but writing the words “rape” and “children” in the same sentence is distressing for me.)
When I read about Asifa, my first thoughts were about my own childhood, about what my life was as an eight year old girl. My priorities were being carefree, playing house, going to school and being talkative. My dreams were of growing up as soon as possible, so that I didn’t have to deal with the annoying grown-ups in my life anymore. My worries were taking a completed homework back to school the next day. My life was full of warmth that comes from the sense of safety and protection, the joy of being pampered with yummy food and the pride that came from riding on my father’s motorbike. I had never heard of the term sexual assault, or molestation, or eve teasing, or rape. When I played out in the park, nobody looked at me with perversion, there was only adoration. When I walked down the street, the only eyes on me were of those concerned about my whereabouts in case I got lost. When I went to my friend’s house to play, nobody worried about a grown up taking advantage of my innocence. When I went to school, nobody warned me about the good touch and the bad touch. The only bruises on my body were scraped knees and occasional scratches from sibling fights and climbing trees, but never from someone forcing themselves on me. So, to think that an eight years old girl went through a week of sexual assault, is just appalling, horrifying, nauseating… And things get so much worse here because there were people who came out in support of the perpetrators of these crimes!
My relationship with religion is not a wholesome one, and one of the reasons is how easily lies are disseminated in its name, to give way to general insanity. When people lose all their good sense and blindingly support crimes against humanity, against innocence and childhood, in the name of God. How do you justify to God doing despicable deeds to a child? Why don’t people get the simple fact that it is not God or the Devil who makes men act this way? It is the hatred, ingrained so deep inside their skins, it is the demented sense of lust, that is inexcusable and reprehensible, that makes them do these things. Because the distressing fact is that there are no religions or political affiliations when it comes to the victims and the criminals. A child is being sexually abused every single day. Which only means that there is something fundamentally wrong with our society, our entire species.
Every day since my son was born, I have sworn to protect him with my life. To do whatever it takes to preserve his innocence and sense of wonder. My heart breaks every time I come across the several news reports about child sexual abuse. Children don’t deserve this. Child – Sexual – Abuse, these three words should never have to be written or read or said together! I have deliberately avoided reading these news reports in the past because it disturbs me at such a deep level, just imagine what the parents of those children must be going through whose lives are incinerated by some depraved men. And since I am a helpless parent myself, I can only grieve along with them.
All of this leads me to these three burning questions: “When will this stop?”, “How will this stop?”, “Who will stop this?” Apparently, these questions will remain unanswered and these crimes will remain unaccounted for, and will continue to happen. Because “modesty” is such a fragile thing, it is almost impossible to not get it destroyed in today’s morally ambiguous world. Because, we are all on our own and our children’s safety is imperative only to us. As a disheartened parent I have come to realize and believe that no amount of stringent laws or protection can prevent these crimes from happening, that it is up to us to change our way of thinking, be paranoid and distrustful, protect our children with all that we have!